I haven’t done much in the past week to generate much inspirational hatred or annoyance and so my scathing humour is offering up little in the way of wryly observed witterings based on the cretins I’ve met. Fear not for I still have plenty to say about life in general, only this week I’m not aiming to make you laugh, I’m aiming to impart some sage advice on a subject I usually avoid like a plague ridden crack den; Love, or more specifically, that which happens when love goes wrong. Heartbreak.
Every one of us spends our every waking moment (and a few sleeping ones) hoping to find and hold on to never-ending love. We are programmed to crave it like Pavlov’s dog craves a spittoon and so it never occurs to us that actually, the opposite of love may be something desirable and beneficial to us in the long run. You’re going to think me a bitter, twisted witch (more so than usual) when I say that I hope each and every one of you, at least once in your life, experiences a horrifically broken heart.
It sounds incredibly harsh and callous but I truly think that every person out there would be a much better human being if they encountered a gut wrenching, soul shattering, life shaking case of heartbreak. Call it cruel, call it spiteful – I call a rite of passage.
I remember when a friend said this to me some years ago. In fact they didn’t say that everyone should experience it, they actually said that I in particular would very much benefit from a torment of the ticker. I thought back then that they were being mean and that I had already gone through enough in my short life to have taught me what it’s like to feel pain and compassion. In fact, I now see that they were right. As thoughtful and caring as I may have been back then, nothing, nothing at all will give you that depth of character, empathy towards others and dryness of humour like a good old fashioned kick in the emotional crotch.
Well, my friend didn’t have to wait long for my education in exquisite pain because lo and behold, just a few short months later, an idiot of a man took a long and protracted metaphorical dump on my heart from a very great height. Don’t worry, you can put down your pitchforks and drop the angry villager act, he has since declared that he was indeed a prize chump and, before going about his business, bought me a shiny trinket to cement the apology. Well, we all know that apologies don’t count unless you can wear them!
After the metaphorical and literal dumping, I can honestly say that I thought the world had stopped turning and that I would never be able to take a single footstep without feeling the churning of an aching heart in the pit of my stomach. I thought that unless I awoke to find this had all been a bad dream, there would never be an end to the crushing weight of my misery and despair and that no-one else in the world could possibly be in as much anguish as I was. Obviously I was wrong and the world did keep turning, thank god, I’d have hated to be single-handedly responsible for the extinction of every species on the planet, although that would have been quite some legacy (I have also since discovered a pain far greater and that many people have suffered far worse than I, so please don’t judge me on my self-absorbed pity of yesteryear).
It’s only after your heart has been truly ripped apart like the limbs of a spider at the hands of an inquisitive child, that you learn how to pick yourself up, dust off the detritus of empty vodka bottles and badly sung 03:00am power ballads and get on with life, now a significantly more robust person armed with the knowledge that you survived this and will therefore be able to survive many more of the awful things life has up its dirty sleeves (trust me they really are dirty – life doesn’t do laundry and it also uses its sleeve as a hanky).
Not only have you survived the thing you thought completely unsurvivable (the heartache as well as the vodka fuelled singing), now you have emerged butterfly-like from the cocoon of melancholy with a newly acquired understanding of others’ hearts, and never again will you treat people’s affections in so cavalier a way as you once would, because you know what it feels like to have your feelings squashed like an over-ripe plum during jam making season.
In the aftermath of a horrific heart fracturing incident, you may swear never to fall in love again and never ever to let anyone get close enough to hurt you like the last person but when the dust settles and you realise that you’re still breathing, you are blessed with the battle-scarred bravery of one who knows their enemy and are better prepared to once again enter the battle arena. Bring on the next soppy romance and tell them to bring their gladiator outfit, you know, the one with the little leather skirt and fish net stockings, errr, I mean, um, never mind.
A broken heart will mellow even the giddiest of spring lambs and knock the silly right out of them. Look deep into the eyes of anyone who has suffered a shattering of the heart and you will see a heavy glimmer of wisdom, maturity and caution that will serve them well into old age. No-one who has suffered a broken heart will ever cite Bridget Jones’s Diary as a source of sound life advice or let you use your phone while under the influence (don’t drink and dial people, keep your dignity).
Nothing sharpens the wit like a solid background of bitterness and woe. There are plenty of funny people out there in the world, lots of individuals who can make you laugh with their try-too-hard shallow jokes but show me someone who has been well and truly dragged through the wringer and I’ll show you someone who knows how to use their wit and comedy in a far more subtle and astute way. If I were to have a perfect dinner party (that would involve cooking so this really is a big “if”), you can be damned sure that if you haven’t brought a bottle of wine and a sense of humour based on a badly bandaged ego, you’re not coming in. Actually, if you haven’t been screwed over in the love department, just leave the wine on the side before you go, thanks.
As well as forming your character into one of a thoroughly splendid and well rounded individual, having someone rip the cardiac muscles out of your chest is a wonderful diet aid. Other than stomach flu and lipo, nothing makes you lose 10lbs faster than those magical moments following a thoroughly beastly break up. It doesn’t bode well for your bank balance though, as it’s compulsory during the immediate recovery period to purchase several very ill advised impulse purchases; motorbikes, £600 shoes, a divorce…
So yes, I stand by it. I say with the greatest of affection that I wish each and every one of you a truly, madly, badly broken heart. My advice to you here is go for it, cast your heart out there into the world in the hopes that someone will be generously brutal enough to trample unceremoniously all over it. You may not thank them at the time but you will have gained so much in character, compassion and humour. You will also have dropped a dress size in time for summer!
I love your point of view. Sometimes it takes experience to feel compassion.
Thanks! Sad but true.
Yup sure is…but that’s a part of life, ain’t it?
All part of its rich tapestry, apparently. I’m thinking of making that tapestry into a lovely coat! 😉
Yes…you’re not the same really after your heart is broken.
But hopefully a nicer version of you. One who gets invited to fabulous dinner parties by people like me! 😀
You meant: “You will never be the same after your heart is broken.”
So true! For the people who commented “get over it”, I would like to suggest “learn from it and grow” instead.
Those who say “get over it” have either never been through it or are desperate for a poke in the eye.
Thank you! I was a bit unsure if this week’s wittering would go down well but it appears there are a lot of broken hearts out there.
I am quite sure everyone has had their hearts broken at least ONCE! If not, they ought to, because then you realize so much about yourself and appreciate relationships more! Didn’t happen to me until my mid-twenties, and, at the time, I may not have realized the benefits of it, but in retrospect, I’m so happy that it happened when it did – made me a better person and lead me to a much more exciting life had I stayed with him! 😀
You’re in awesome company! 😉
I am sure everyone has had their hearts broken at least ONCE! And if not, they ought to! In retrospect, it may be the best thing that ever happened to them! 😀
All the cool kids are into battered emotions.
We should start a really exclusive club, with free vodka and tissues for everyone!
That’s funny! And true. 🙂
I know, I should write a blog about it, right? Oh…
pull yourself together you closet sap. 🙂 I say that in the nicest possible way….. Nothing here that I didn’t already know about you .
You, dear boy, are a prime candidate for a horribly broken heart. And I say that in the nicest possible way. 😉
What makes you think I don’t know what you’re talking about? True enough that I avoid it like the plague….. But that way when it finally catches up with me I’ll either be a dead man or as the saying goes ‘whatever doesn’t kill you……’ .
It doesnt take a person dumping on you to break your heart you know…… No, I’m not talking about animals either.
Get stuck in! Fall in love, get your heart stamped on, live a little!
I’ll tell you what I told the other 25 guys who’ve asked me that today.
Show me the rock?
On account of the fact that I’m entirely serious and yet still in college, I’m going to ask that you accept an IOU for now.
Here you go: http://tinyurl.com/6mssuzc
Also, I totally agree, there is no pain like that which the love of your life can inflict upon you. Until you know, you’ll never understand.
Also, that sense of objective reflection post-break can be very sobering and valuable. Nice post!
When you say “sobering”, you mean after all the vodka, right? 😉
….”Look deep into the eyes of anyone who has suffered a shattering of the heart and you will see a heavy glimmer of wisdom, maturity and caution that will serve them well into old age.”
I take it you approve?
Of course, you, as one I the wisest and funniest of people have undoubtedly been broken of heart. No doubt.
The caution MM, the caution.
Sorry If I misled. You know the maturation is non-existant, and the wisdom only marginal.
Well, I loves ya anyway!
this is a nice way to start the day.
Thanks, you’re a dear!
Hopeless romantics love a good broken heart. The drama is wonderful! We love to cry gallons of tears, lament over what could have been, should have been and why it all went so terribly wrong. Takes weeks, even months, to get over it. But they find the strength to carry on and since they love falling in love, they quickly find a replacement and hope “this is it!”.
When it happens over and over, I think some self analysis is in hand. Either the person is a total dork and can’t figure it out or they love pity parties.
Either way, I agree, everyone needs to have their heart broken. Gives us an excuse to get drunk, lose weight and get a little bit of attention.
Sounds awfully like you’re describing drama addicts and I can’t abide them. It’s one thing to get your heart broken but quite another to go around handing it out on a platter for repeated abuse. I NEVER RSVP to the pity party if it becomes a regular shindig – they can count me out! 😉
Oh, and I need very little excuse to get drunk. 😉
LOL! Being a Leo doesn’t help either. We tend to get over dramatic about everything anyway!
weeks / months to get over?? I want your broken heart! It will be 3 years in September..
You need to let go! Move on! Don’t let this burden you! Three years is too long! Go enjoy life!
It takes as long as it takes…:)
Letting go is the hardest step, but also the one that leads to freedom. Good luck. You can get there. And you deserve to. It may not be what you imagined, but the nice thing about that is it’s probably going to be better 🙂
You never really lose your broken heart but hopefully the pain grows less with every passing day/week/year. You’ll get there. Maybe you just need more vodka! 😉
You could be right 😀 I have been lacking in vodka! And yes, of course the pain grows less, but every now and then it comes back, overwhelmingly so.
That’s just your heart giving you a reminder of how you got to the marvellous place you’re in now and leting you know you’re still alive. I prescribe more vodka fuelled singing at 3am.
You are still way much better. I am 6 yrs down!!!! Truly hope you don’t take that long. God bless 🙂
Great Stuff – I had you down as a soppy one, those foul mouthed tweets don’t fool anyone! It was HIS loss me deario! Altogether now “I will survive”!
Just twisted an ankle after going over me roller skates……Brilliant Post.
“First I was afraid, I was petrifiiiiied…” *hic*
I shall have to be extra sweary on the Twitter now to try to cover up the fact I have (shhh) feelings.
Your finely crafted swearing is the essence of delicate filth that so many aspire to but sadly never reach your heights. What a load of bollox that was -. “Go, now go”
I rather liked your poetic assessment of my potty mouth!
Always here to help…..
stop calling it ‘the twitter’ . Your *cough*age*cough* is showing.
And how do I find you on twittah ?
For your information, the cool kids call it “The Twitter” as an effectionate term of irony. It’s not meant to be factually correct. :p
If you don’t annoy me too much, you can follow @marthabmills.
don’t be slipping in ‘kids’ here and there…… That’s only something old people do to make themselves feel young….. See, kids don’t refer to themselves as kids sherlock. :O
Alas, some of us pack on the pounds (or kilos) to salve the shattered pump. Lots of chocolate, gravy and noodle casseroles—not necessarily in that order.
Ah yes, there truly is comfort and salvation to be found in the bottom of a tub of Ben & Jerry’s.
mmmm…gravy….yes. But I have to agree with the original post–that true body-crushing, once in a lifetime heart break is not comforted by food, or even interested in food. I’ve “had my heart broken” like everyone else, but those were all child’s play. The one real heart break was so different from the rest, it was mind numbing. What most people call heartbreak is nothing more than a momentary blip in the history of a life.
You only really know true heart ache when it knocks you off your feet. That’s the kind that a spa weekend and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s can’t cure. Even so, I’ve seen a broken heart turn a skinny minny into a walking fridge!
I wholeheartedly agree with your conclusions. How could anyone have a credible position on anything with reference points approximating the polar extremes. After fifty one years of marriage, I think I speak with some authority. However, I think I like the way you put it much better than mine! Thanks for keeping me amused.
51 years? Wow, you get less for murder! Congratulations that’s an epic number of years, long may they continue.
Like Kayleigh says, 51 years? Wow! I don’t think you see that much these days so yes, I think that gives you more than a little licence to have an opinion on matters regarding relationships.
Glad I amuse, it makes it worth getting dumped! 😉
Actually, I had intended to write “without having reference points approximating the polar extremes,” but due to my advanced years, I have developed an unintended habit of “shorthand reading,” wherein I wrote one thing, but read it as something else.
I confess I like the recognition of the fifty one years of marriage, but I also believe that most of the credit goes to my bride.
Again, you have a way of putting things that give rise to a chuckle, and for that, I make it a point to never miss your posts.
I suspect the success of your marriage has very much depended on you giving your bride the credit for all success. A lesson for all. 😉
I rather miss having my heart stomped on. Being married (which I also love, husband dearest. Don’t be getting any ideas, now) just doesn’t have the emotional thrill capacity of my frequently lovelorn younger days. Still, I seem to remember crying more over the death of my cat than over any of the young bucks who were foolish enough to ditch me. That broke my heart so bad that I’ve not had a pet since.
You miss it? Crazy wench! You hang on to that dear husband of yours and leave the rest of us to get our characters horribly built over and over.
Ah nothing beats the familiar sting of having your heart extracted via your anus with the help of a hot, rusty hook. I now always work upon the principle that if I REALLY like her it’s destined to be doomed and hence prepare for self-destruction on either my part or hers. These days I find my arms tire from being extended at full length all the time. It makes it very hard to do certain things. Such as clapping without looking like an enthusiastic seal at the zoo. Now if you’ll excuse me, the pit of despair at the bottom of my garden needs its annual maintenance.
Oh Dom! You just make me want to hug you but then we’d probably end up in some awfully destructive yet passionate relationship, break up, hate each other and then I’d have to stop following you on Twitter. Are you prepared for your follower count to drop?!
As much as it sounds counter-intuitive, having an excruciating experience like you describe is normal and NEEDED. How else are we going to learn how to forge on in the wake of a 2nd Obama term or even a 1st Romney term? 😉
This would explain how I’m able to cope with David Cameron. Just.
Love this post.. and until it happens I think one is not quite a seasoned love(r)..
Ah the smug ones who have no clue, right? *crash*
The smug ones are just those who think they know it all because they haven’t yet learned a thing. It’ll get them though, they’ll get their kick in the crotch. 😉
I woke up repeating the lyric “the shadow proves the sunshine”, now I see it reflected in “the heartbreak proves the heart beat”. Well said. And with vim and vigor. Love on you mad fool. Love on. I shall in kind. ~Regards, Dan
I like that – the shadow does indeed prove the sunshine.
Have fun loving and remember, use protection! 😉
I completely agree with this post! In fact I would go a step further and say that I think everyone should have a bad relationship as well as a (bad?) break up. I’ve seen too many of my friends turn into douches with their first real long term relationships because they haven’t had these integral life experiences. It’s horrible but needed to grow. And how else will you be able to contribute to the 3am binge drinking and bitching sessions after a breakup if you haven’t the experiences to draw upon? 😛
It’s true – the people you want on speed dial for those 3am vodka binges and body-dumping sessions are the ones who’ve been there, bought the t-shirt, cried the tears and know all the best secluded ditches. 😉
I first saw the title and was thinking, wait, what? Then I read it and I have to say that you truly do not learn things until you have experienced it; sometimes people can understand without experiencing it, but the majority learn by walking a mile in the shoes of heartbreak, or whatever the lesson is. Love comes and goes. Throughout life, you will have dated at least 5+ people (sometimes more) before you find that person you want to settle down with and sometimes that doesn’t always go smoothly either.
It is indeed through trials and challenges that we find out who we truly are and what we truly want. We learn and grow. We pick ourselves back up, dust off our backsides and jump back on and TRY AGAIN until one day we finally get it! Life is about learning and growing.
The title sounds a bit harsh, doesn’t it? Harsh but true though!
I hope you get to have some of the fun learning experiences too!
I love your quote “That which doesn’t kill you.. makes for a lovely collage!”
Makes me think of painting your heart digitally!
It also sounds like an artistic serial killer’s mantra! 😉
most people don’t know this, but I’ve actually had one or two experiences in heartbreak. it makes for good experience for someone who wants to be a writer like i do.
It’s true, you can’t be a good writer without having a bit of a tortured soul. Or a drinking problem, apparently! 😉
is that last comment a reference to Stephen King? Because he was drinking a lot during his early career. You can see it if you read “The Shining”.
It’s more just me trying to console myself. 😉
Is that a reference to Stephen King’s early career?
Here Here!! Or hear, hear?*haha*
I too completely believe this.
Also, you are a very excellent writer and I’ll be stopping by again. 🙂
Thank you kindly!
I’ve been there. It was nearly 11 years ago and now, about 20 pounds later, I could use another divorce-diet. Thank you for the laugh.
The Divorce Diet – the only weight loss plan you won’t find in the Health & Fitness section of Borders!
Is this the (twistedly cathartic) diet where you get to dump “Cherry Garcia” for Mr. “Belvedere”
And Jack, don’t forget Mr Daniels!
Wow. That was encouraging. I love your writing, and humor. 🙂
Thanks so much! I’m glad you feel encouraged.
Very well written 🙂
Thanks ever so. 🙂
Reblogged this on Kaleidoscope.
Such a hard, hard lesson to learn, yet you are 100% right. I wouldn’t have willingly chosen heartbreak, but am a new, better person for it.
I think most of us would opt to not have been dumped on from a great height but it really is a badge of honour you can wear with pride. Welcome to the club! 🙂
Beautiful, funny, and inspiring post. Everyone should live by this.
Congratulations on the Freshly Pressed! 🙂
Thanks Becky! Maybe I should run for Prime Minister… 😉
This is so funny! I have had my heart broken many times and am glad to say that I have been happily married for almost 25 years. I think it was all worth it. In the end, I knew exactly what kind of man I was looking for!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
Thanks very much!
Well done on stayig hitched for 25 years. Do they give out trophies for that these days? It’s quite the rarity! 😉
Couldn’t agree with you more! … didn’t Kelly Clarkson just sing a song about this?
She got the idea after reading this blog. 😉
Awesome! I think this is why Tom Papa is so freaking funny (youtube him, he’s hilarious), because *he knows*.
I’ll have to look him up. Just a few comments to get through first. 😉
LOL, your writing style is very distinctive. I like the humor in your piece. I agree everyone needs to get his/her heart broken once to realize what really matters.
I’m in the process of wooing my first girlfriend now. I know I’ll either fall madly in love or just fall. But yeah, more power to those who’ve fallen, literally and metaphorically!
I love the fact you’re “wooing” someone. Not enough people partake in a spot of good old fashioned “wooing” these days. best of luck with that!
Couldn’t agree with you more. Although, I wouldn’t have been able to say that without my own swift kick to the hearts strings. It really does change your life and shape you into a much better version of yourself. That’s what it’s all about anyway, right? I really enjoyed reading this and know that so many who read this (like me) agreed with every well written sentence. We’re only supposed to have one of these in a lifetime though, right?! Let’s hope 🙂
I’m hoping for just one but I’m afraid to say that life (the grubby sneak) may have other plans afoot. Still, what’s the worst that can happen? We end up with more to write about and fitting into smaller jeans! 😉
Falling in love makes us losing weight, so the opposite would make us obese..
I think it’s a case of skinny at the start, skinny at the end and the middle complacent bit makes us tubby. Maybe models are permanantly in a state of falling in love and breaking up!
This is fantastic– you are fantastic, and it’s all true. I’m going through one now and it is so rough! I created a strategy to accompany fight through a breakup/broken heart (http://wp.me/p15Fhc-Na) and do agree that everyone should go through AT LEAST one broken heart– never two though… fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
Thanks, I feel fantastic now! 😉
Unfortunately, you can only avoid being fooled by the same person twice, not by love in general. That’s the risk you have to take in order to get the good bits.
Reblogged this on Ms. Suazo and commented:
In lieu of my “Breakup Songs: the strategy”… everyone deserves at least ONE broken heart– and Ms. Pretty Feet couldn’t have said it better!
I’m 18 and I thought I went through a bad break-up last year… But after some more life experiences I quickly found out that what I went through was child’s play. I’m still waiting for the one to “trample unceremoniously” over my heart but hey, I’m young! I’ve got plenty of time to have a broken heart or two! But, I’m not old enough to drink, so I receive my drunken stupor by crying with my friends! Whatever works 🙂
Great blog by the way! I shall be following you now! Congrats on FP! 😀
Thanks very much!
Yep, you’re still young enough to delay having your heart kicked in for a few more years and I highly recommend putting it off until you’re legally able to sing really badly at 3am under the influence of cheap wine.
Haha fair enough! I’ll take your recommendation to heart 🙂
Well, I guess it’s true. Look what a fabulously witty writer it brought us here. (smiles)
You smooth talker! 😉
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Bravo! I have often felt a morbid sense of superiority and condescension over those that have not experienced that gut-wrenching, soul searing pain of one’s heart being torn out and stomped upon. Those poor, sweet, innocent folks, their time will come too. Thanks.
Pity them, they have it all to come!
Reblogged this on Unexpected Destinations and commented:
Here’s a fantastic rant from one of my fellow bloggers. So true.
Oh my goodness, how strangely inspiring this was. I haven’t experience a true, face-punching, gut-wrenching, gallons of tears production of a heartbreak…. yet. I know I probably should as I have the tendency to judge the “emotional ones”, as I call them. If anything, you definitely opened my eyes a litte more when it comes to romance and… well, just being in touch with your heart in general. Great read though, I loved it!
Thanks for reading and I hope you get your heart well and truly broken so you can be in the club with all the cool kids. 😉
Ha, you’re so kind! I hope my heartbreak is crazy painful so my cool factor shoots up the charts. 🙂
That’s the spirit!
thank you for writing about this subject. heart break and humor, theres definitely a correlation there. i hope your humor is more innate than anything else. Otherwise im pulling out the pitchfork, try and stop me 😛 congratulations on being freshly pressed :)!!
Thanks for getting your pitchfork ready, his address is … Just kidding! 😉
I agree! After a break up you tend to be either sad or pissed off but when you at the big picture you realize that you’ve learned so much about yourself but also what you like and don’t like about a potential mate. It also makes meeting the right person sooooooo much better. It’s like kissing a bunch of frogs before meeting your prince. LOL
I tried kissing a frog when I was 6. There’s no point to this story, I just thought I’d share. 😉
Reblogged this on tecnoologiaviviana.
You have no idea of how much your words are helping me. Thank you for sharing. 🙂
Wow, glad to know I’m actually helping and not just spewing words out onto the blogosphere! Thanks.
I couldn’t agree more, although it is dreadful to go through.
Dreadful to go through but wonderful to survive! 🙂
Even in the happiest, longest partnerships, a person’s heart will be broken: 1 of the individuals will die first before the other.
So the motto should: Love someone every day who respects and honours your whole being with their honesty and faithfulness to you.
Morbid but true. Think I’ll go look at some pictures of clowns for a while. *sob*
This was a very entertaining post. You are correct about needing pain in order to know true happiness.
Sometimes being right is a real pain in the proverbial. Still, I’m glad you agree. Thanks!
Extremely well said. I particularly liked the very last sentence. It made me laugh 😀
Glad you like. 🙂
Sometimes we need something terrible to snap everything into perceptive!
Wonderful post, you have a flair for writing.
Thank you so much. It would be nice if we didn’t need the terrible bits but then we’d all be clueless chumps and my dinner parties would be guestless! 😉
I happen to be in my very first real-relationship and with that came LOVE. It has taken me all of my 21 years to fall in love because the heartache that is, in my opinion, sure to follow. Am i a pessimistic? I don’t think so, but it is surely possible, i just thing that love is inevitable, therefore its counter part is as well. So thank you for the light at the end of my future tunnel!
Get stuck in! You can’t have the fun stuff without the flip side of the coin. You’ll thank the person who makes you miserable in the end – and so will the future love of your life!
I really like your observation that “life doesn’t do laundry and it also uses its sleeve as a hanky.” Very true.
It’s a mucky tricky little scamp, no denying that. I caught it wiping its feet on the carpet too!
Such a timely post – it is in chasing down the scraps and scars and stories of life that you have raw materials to work with to create something even more beautiful! 🙂
Pretty sure that without all the painful, hurtful and downright irksome things that plague my life, I’d have absolutely nothing to write about and even fewer jokes to amuse dinner guests!
Yes, very clever! I say so, too… 😉
Glad you agree, you must have impeccable taste. 😉
ahaha, I’s say, it’s a life experience that one shouldn’t miss… hey, i once tried writing about the same topic – http://35andupcynicismonhold.wordpress.com/2011/12/25/when-love-comes-a-knockin/. do glance at it when you’re no longer swamped with comments (after the FP euphoria, hihi). Thanks and good day! 😉
Will do. It might take me a month or 5 to get through all these amazing comments though.
ah, do come over when it suits you fine. it’ll be waitin’ for you. i hope you don’t mind, i went over your other posts – plenty of witticisms and puns. i’ll come back, hey… 😉
I thought I felt something. 😉
Come back any time!
Bravo & well said!! Be grateful though, you didn’t have to go through nearly 20-years of marriage & the raising of two teenage kids before the “big one” hit in massive-cardiac-arrest style, leaving you scrambling to make all these new-found character building connections with yourself just before hitting the half-century mark! The advantage of it not happening sooner? Dropping & count ’em, 4 dress sizes & settling into a totally your own totally new and rad pad!! 🙂 Loved your post!
Four dress sizes? Crikey, there must be nothing left of you! Well done for coming out of it with a nicely rounded character and a less rounded bottom!
Great post!! I’ve been heartbroken for most of my life so I know how to make myself happy and it makes obtaining and enjoying happiness much much sweeter!!
Thanks! Glad you can find happiness even though it sounds like you’re getting more than your fair share of crotch-kicking.
It’s so true. After a heartbreak you only appreciate so much more what you will find next <3.
And vodka. You also appreciate vodka! 😉
This is so true! I feel that while going through my first, heart-wrenching heartache was tough to deal with and made me a mess at the time, I grew so much from it. I’ve come out a lot stronger, a lot wiser, and a lot more knowledgable on what I am and am not willing to tolerate in a mate. It’s also matures you and prepares you for your next love.
It also means you win’t get kicked out of my dinner parties! 🙂
First time reader here.
Anyway – I see where you’re coming from, and if it’s not a broken heart via romance, try cancer on for size. Stage 4 cancer in your too-young (only 52) father, with whom you’ve always been very close. Being trapped 1200 miles away, unable to be of any real use to him and your mother, who are truly amazing people, really freaking sucks. Then, make sure it migrates to the brain and spine, just for kicks.
That will break your heart and deepen your character too, methinks.
Hey there first time reader!
I too know the pain of losing someone dear. That there is a whole other ball game of pain. I’m sorry to hear about your father, I hope you have some bloody good friends around you.
I do, indeed. If it weren’t for them – I don’t know what I’d do. Thanks. 🙂
Reblogged this on Rainbow Smile.
Wonderful opinion! I especially love when you pointed out that it takes one to understand one. You grow and mature as a person, and you live a little along the way. 🙂
Thanks! Some days I wish I lived a little less but that’s just a hangover. 😉
Reblogged this on .
Indeed! When a person with a broken heart goes to someone who’s never had theirs done in, the end result of advice giving is, “”You’ll get over it.” When a broken heart comes to a mended heart, they are much more sympathetic. And honestly, it won’t be the end of the world. Enjoyed this post; keep it up! 😀
Thanks very much. It’s true, you get a much softer shoulder to cry on from someone who’s been crushed unceremoniously.
Takes courage to love and feel … all who live should be full of it both courage and love.
And vodka. 😉
Tito’s Vodka- very nice photo!
Ugh. Very heartbreaking post. So sad because it’s true. great post 🙂
Don’t be sad, it may be true but it has a happy ending. Well it does for me because I got Freshly Pressed! 😉
I agree. And this applies to alot of other unpleasant feelings. I often find that those who have suffered most have the most empathy for others.
There is a slightly relevant quote: “Religion is for those who are afraid of going to Hell; spirituality is for those who have already been there.”
When you say “other unpleasant feelings”, you mean trapped wind, don’t you? I find no one understands that unless they get it! 😉
Reblogged this on The Thought Spout and commented:
A very been-there-done-that story which makes me realize, it was worth it after-all!
Glad to hear it!
I like your point of view on this and I agree! When we’re in the midst of the anguish of a broken heart it’s hard to see that it’s actually going to make us better, stronger people in the long run.
Hindsight really is the best vantage point, isn’t it?
Nice Post and thank you for sharing.
“Well, my friend didn’t have to wait long for my education in exquisite pain because lo and behold, just a few short months later, an idiot of a man took a long and protracted metaphorical dump on my heart from a very great height. Don’t worry, you can put down your pitchforks and drop the angry villager act, he has since declared that he was indeed a prize chump and, before going about his business, bought me a shiny trinket to cement the apology. Well, we all know that apologies don’t count unless you can wear them!”
You are great…This could be on my favorite quotes list…. Cheers
Careful, with chat like that, I’m liable to pull a Gwyneth Paltrow Oscar moment! 😉
Fun read. I’ve gone from a broken heart ten-years ago, to a couple of strokes and a heart-attack. From each of those, I’ve learned to value myself, and my ability to play guitar poorly, which I now do as therapy. I post them to embarrass myself publicly, so I have no need of someone to do that for me.
Where does that leave me, besides having a lot of time to practice and no-one to complain about the noise?
Congrats on your freshly pressed!
Sounds like your heart has tackled more than enough. Maybe we should wrap you up in bubble wrap and let someone esel take a turn. 😉
Not a chance. This life is it. I hope to wear out at just the right moment, even then I’m going kicking and screaming. You see, I’m hoping that it’s true, that only the good die young.
With a bang, not a whimper. Good plan!
One cannot fake emotions.!
Try telling that to the contestants of reality TV shows! I think they try purchasing a bunch of fake emotions along with their fake hair and fake boobs!
Reblogged this on joycechristinetorno.
One cannot in the long run fake emotions !
You are fun. Perhaps, a bit radical, but I, actually, understood you and, for the most part, agree. It would be wonderful if we could grow to old age, only fall in love once, and that be perfect. But, reality bites (as goes the movie), so I qualify under your measure of a balanced soul. Let it never be said, I haven’t been belted a few times while still hurting from cupid’s arrow.
In an ideal world we wouldn’t have our heart broken and we also wouldn’t have seen Britney Spears’ undercarriage. Still, we soldier on. As does Britney’s career.
you are a genius! Loved this so much! Very true! I’d have you over for dinner any time! Don’t forget the wine and your amazing sense of life..
love & light
Thanks for the dinner invite, what time shall I get there?
I love being called a genius. Can you send that in writing to my 12th grade maths teacher?
This was hilarious! The gut wrenching heartbreak helps you take on life head on! What more can go wrong in life? One is ready to face anything after this life changing event.
There’s nothing hilarious about heartbreak, oh, hang on, there is! 😉
Loved this entry…it had me cracking up the whole time, partly out of empathy. Awesome!
Glad I could raise a chuckle. Thanks!
This is really a good work. I appreciate your efforts behind that.
Thanks for sharing.
No no, thank you for reading!
loved this. quite inspiring. thanks!
Thanks very much. Glad you enjoyed.
i love your title . i have a broken heart , so i wanna to share with you!
Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
Thank you so much. I’m glad you’re able to share – you’re definitely not alone!
I really loved reading your post. It would resonate with people who have not only been through a heartbreak but also through pain in any form that has completely emotionally ripped them. You just made me realise that pain is important for strength of character, be it in love failure or otherwise. Keep writing 🙂
I’m glad you liked it. It appears to have resonated with a fair few more people than I could ever have imagined! 🙂
Oh my! I haven’t had a heartbreak yet!>.< Can anybody please break my heart? 😀 Wanna try.
This is excellent! I love your POVs. hah! And congrats for the FP!
Don’t worry, your turn will come. Just remember to stock up on vodka, terrible films and good friends for when it does. 😉
Reblogged this on arawindkumar.
Reblogged this on Ash's Blog and commented:
Its true that …. “Everybody Deserves A Broken Heart.”
Instantly made me feel less scared about entering a new relationship. You´re right, the worse thing that can happen is it not working out and my heart being broken – I’ve definitely had it broken before, and much more painful things, and I survived all that 🙂 Thanks for the stroke of insight!
Don’t be scared! If you’ve already lived through it once, you’ll be a pro at sailing through it again and you’ll also know to hide your phone when you’ve been drinking late at night. 😉
I have very similar views on unrequited love 😛
Ah yes, such delicious agony. Spent most of my teens playing that game and it does indeed make you much kinder when someone hideous develops a crush on you.
And nothing teaches you humility better than constant and prolonged rejection 😛
I loved the thought behind this post! And being someone who has been through quite a few heartbreaks, I totally agree with you. Heartbreaks do strengthen you in a way nothing else can. I can’t tell you how much I loved reading your post! 🙂 Almost inspires me to go get a heartbreak! 😛 And congratulations on being Freshly Pressed!
Wow, sounds like you treat heartbreaks like Starbucks coffees! 😉
To character, compassion and humour. Extremely creative and very well described. Almost everyone can relate to it and yes, it doesn’t sound cruel on your part. You’re too sweet. Thanks for sharing.
Ah, thank you! I’m not sure my friends and family would describe me as sweet though. 😉
Ohh the drama. Bitersweet drama. It takes time to get over the gut wrenching, soul shattering, life shaking case of heartbreak but as you said the rebirth is wonderful I would dare to say even magical. After you regain your strenght you don`t sweat the small stuff anymore…
Indeed it’s something we should all go through at least once in a lifetime.
Cute witty blog ya have over here. Good on you.
Thank you very much! I’m not sure I like the sound of it being a rebirth, that sounds messy and I’m not sure I want relationship placenta in my hair. 😉
good post…like it
Short but to the point comment. I like it. 😉
This is such a great article. I learned a lot from this.
I never pictured myself as having any wisdom to share but hey, glad you feel enlightened!
Reblogged this on Shenkin and commented:
An interesting view point. On reflection, I think I agree.
Haha! When my heart was ripped from my chest I felt like I couldn’t breath for two months and lost 20lbs in one. I don’t think I’ve weighted that little since I was 12. The awful thing is that my boobs and butt disappeared with the 3 dress sizes so the trade-off for thinness is a toss-up… argh.
And I think you’re absolutely right – having my heart shattered was the best thing that ever happened to me. Thanks for the reminder.
20lbs in 1 month? Crikey, I’m amazed you didn’t get snapped up by Gucci for their latest ad campaign!
Careful, saying things like that leads to a broken heart! 😉
“The awful things life has up its dirty sleeves (trust me they really are dirty – life doesn’t do laundry and it also uses its sleeve as a hanky).” That sentence makes me very happy. Magnificent. You are so damn right. Getting hurt is but essential. As is the kicking crying and wailing that goes with it.
Glad that makes you happy. Life needs to get some manners though, snotty sleeves are simply not acceptable in polite society!
Wow, this post came to me just at the right time and place. Awesome.
That’s so nice to hear. I hope you keep your chin up and as my mother says, it’ll all come out in the wash.
Lol! Yea I agree! Post break up life, I think, is consists of three stages; Stage 1 is the first few days of gut wrenching and shattering misery, and you refuse to accept that you’ll ever get over that person and all you do is brood over what happened. You keep checking your phone and feel even worse when you see zero missed calls and no new messages! You go to work with hair tied into an untidy bun, no make up, dark circles, and no motivation to look anything close to human! Stage 2 is when you actually get bored of crying and go shopping, hit the gym, look up your contact list for friends you have ignored while you were busy chasing a maniac! Stage 3- This one is fun! This is when you’re over the whole thing and you finally have the opportunity to put to use, all the swear words you have learnt in your entire life time! Beyond this point of time, any conversation concerning your ex is all BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! And then the revelation hits you that you’re totally out of his/ her league and you don’t give a tiny rats A** if he/ she burns in hell! LOL! Break ups can be amusing! I love your post and your sense of humor! Kudos!
You’re right, it was such a refreshing moment when you realise that your heartbreak has made you so much more fabulous, that even if they wanted you back, they couldn’t get you because you are now far superior to them, the chumps!
Surely one of the best compositions I’ve ever read, both in terms of content and language used. Astoundingly true, sadly though. It does require a “war” wound to mature…
Excellent read…keep posting more…
Thank you so much, that’s lovely feedback.
Just shared this on my Facebook timeline. Thanks for providing another perspective.
You were clearly brought up well – it’s good to share! 😉
I absolutely LOVE the way you write! You’ve got an awesome sense of humour. I don’t usually read through whole chunks of text online unless I find something interesting. This time I read the whole thing. 😀
Congrats for being on Freshly Pressed.
High praise indeed! Thanks ever so for stopping to read my big old chunk of text.
I totally concur! Experience they say, is the best teacher.
Well said, brillaint post.
P.S: Congrats on being Freshly Pressed
Experience is indeed the best teacher. Just don’t tell that to the staff at my old school, they might choke on their coffee. 😉
That may be the very best post I’ve read on WordPress. How could I resist commenting? I’ve had my heart dropped in a blender and when I gathered the courage to retrieve it, found that it was stronger. I thought I was sick for believing a good thing had happened, but reading this I think maybe I’m not. Then again… maybe we both are.
Beautiful writing skills! I’ll have to keep an eye on your site so I can enjoy more of your not-so-classy wit, which I thoroughly enjoyed.
Blimey, that’s a strong statement! Thank you so much.
You’re in no way sick, look around you – you’re in very good company! 🙂
Interesting title, great post and a heartrending real-life tale! Especially, Loved your linguistic gymnastics.
Thanks for wishing us all a Broken heart, it’s valuable as in for the unfeigned qualities you gain, or ‘growth’ in other words. But one fine day, we’ll all need love, no matter how much we try to refrain from it.
Thanks! I like to practice my linguistic gymnastics often, it keeps my tongue limber for when I fall in love again. 😉
Oh ya please do fall in love again, we’ll get the chance to read another great work of art 🙂
Don’t worry, life has dropped more than enough odds and sods on me to keep me churning out these witterings!
Sympathies. What comes from a broken heart is really touching.
one of my favourite quotes:
‘The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” – Elizabeth Kübler-Ross
What a cracking quote, sums up my sentiments exactly!
A sense of humor based on a badly bruised ego- that’s me. Can I come to one of your dinner parties? Not only will I bring wine, but plenty of stories about viral STDs, broken furniture, flying laptop cases, broken cigarettes- all in the context of love and love lost, of course.
I couldn’t agree more, my shattered heart friend (Cue Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”).
You are DEFINITELY invited! 🙂
This is so very true, and to survive it multiple times is truly character building.
Hopefully not at the hands of the same person, that would imply masochism!
Mostly not. But there can be occasional little heart breaks if you are with the same person for decades.
Nice Read…….agree tht a heart break gives you the wisdom and the strength to deal with life……
Thanks for stopping to have a look. 🙂
So true. I just blogged about what it is like to actually like someone. So this brought be back down from the high!
Don’t let it kill your high, just call it the rough diamond compared to your pretty rose. And stock up on vodka. 😉
Thank you very much. My mother always taught me not to lie (other than to my father) 😉
Amen..it takes a broken heart to understand things better
It’s sad but it’s true and apparently quite a popular sentiment!
Nice, colorful writing! Glad I saw you on freshly pressed!
I’m glad you saw me too! Thanks!
Nice, colorful piece of writing. I am glad I happened to find you on freshly pressed.
Wow! How inspiring… This makes me wanna cast all my heart and soul to someone out there. Never had a broken heart, I guess I’m missing out a lot. I love this post! 🙂
You really are missing out. Don’t worry, it’ll catch up with you though, heartbreak smacks the best of us in the chops. 🙂
Thank you, I have shared this exact point of view for a long time and cannot be persuaded to change my mind. This post and the way it was written has just cemented that thought for me. We are right when we say it really is for everyone’s own good in the long run. As someone who delivers humor as subtle and delcate as a car crash, I love your point of a heartbreak sharpening your wit. The best humor has sharp edges.
Subtle as a car crash – that’s me! 🙂
I’ve had the broken heart, been put through that wringer, and despite it all I can say I completely agree with you, and don’t regret the experience at all. I’m happy for my caution and that dry wit and the broadened perspective. With every emergence from that wretched foray I’ve become a damn more interesting and formidable person. So huzzah for that!
I came across a quote a while back that accompanies this nicely: “Sometimes things need to first break, before they can be rebuilt. Stronger.”
I’m very glad to have found your blog via Fresh Press. Congrats, and I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts.
I’m glad you found me too and huzzah indeed! 🙂
Reblogged this on amata atque armata and commented:
“A broken heart will mellow even the giddiest of spring lambs and knock the silly right out of them. Look deep into the eyes of anyone who has suffered a shattering of the heart and you will see a heavy glimmer of wisdom, maturity and caution that will serve them well into old age.”
I LOVE THIS..:D
THIS LOVES YOU!
“In the aftermath of a horrific heart fracturing incident, you may swear never to fall in love again and never ever to let anyone get close enough to hurt you like the last person.”
I love your post very much. 🙂
Thanks very much, I’m glad it struck a chord.
I’m just commenting here to congratulate you on your use of the word ‘cretins’. Well done.
Why thank you, it’s a regular feature in my vocabulary, possibly due to the amount of the cretins that surround me each day. 😉
Reblogged this on Pink Ninjabi and commented:
A most AMAZING blog of how brave you have to be and will become in and after taking that leap of faith.
Wow, who knew I’d ever be an inspiration. I’m generally just known for drinking too much and being rude! 😉
You definitely are a huge inspiration! With many, many thanks to you for turning trauma into triumph for us broken lovers out there. 😀
Very well written blog, you’ve hit the nail on the head with your jam-making metaphore!
You can’t go far wrong if you compare things in life to preserved fruit. 😉
It’s like being so drunk and you keep on puking. You swear never to drink again. And in this mushiness case, you swear never to love again or even forget the very person who broke your heart. But just the sight of him makes you forget everything that you swore. Just the sight of him, makes you so goddamn happy you feel like you’ve met your celebrity crush, or even better, oblivious to all the hurt you felt. And yes, soon enough you’ll be alcoholic again. Yes, damn you, Life. Damn you. But do carry on. We love being alcoholic (P.S. That’s metaphorically. Love, An alcohol virgin)
I rather like your boozy analogy, in fact, I’ll drink to that! 😉
You have truly given me the kick in the seat of my heart to move forward from a brutal marriage that ended in heartache and a vow that I would NEVER love again. Only to be proven wrong, of course. Thank you soooooooooooooooooo much for this amazing post of guts, grit, and glory. 😀
You are more than welcome! I didn’t intend to write something inspirational but it’s nice to know that people are finding hope among my humble witterings and terrible jokes. 🙂
I’m so looking forward to reading more of your witty musings and hilarious comments of the ‘real’ life. 😀
I hope I don’t disappoint!
With a name like prettyfeetpoptoe, I’m sure you’ll impress! 😀
Pretty well said. Life is tough, and only those who survive its challenges come out great. I like your point of view here. Good point here: Look deep into the eyes of anyone who has suffered a shattering of the heart and you will see a heavy glimmer of wisdom, maturity and caution that will serve them well into old age. Thumbs up and congrats on FP.
Thank you so much. Hopefully I’ll survive many more of life’s grubby challenges so I can keep churning out the witterings!
couldn’t agree more. my broken heart was the best and worst thing that’s happened to me in the relatively short scheme of my life thusfar. and i’ve absolutely grown because of it (but also, by the way, i grew in dress sizes…i’m maybe the only person who PUT ON 10 pounds because of a break-up. sigh)
I’m sure you wear thise 10lbs well and with the pride of one who has survived a terrible cream topped broken heart! 😉
So this popped up on my wordpress stuff and decided to give it a read. Well written and very true.
Thanks very much, you made a wise decision. 😉
yes, yes I did.
Reblogged this on The thing is, Ara.
Loved it! I think you’re absolutely right about this!
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed.
It’s true, one does lose weight and gets stronger and wiser after a breakup, but on the other hand, I think I’ve had my share of heartache, I mean, enough already, did you hear that God? I said enough! 😀
I’m with you. Sometimes I think I’ve had my character built quite enough, thanks. Sadly, life seems to think I need more blog material. 😉
When I look back 10 years from now at my heartache, I’ll probably be laughing my head off! 😀
Oh trust me, in 10 years time you’ll wet yourself. Of course that could be more age related than to do with the fact you’re over your broken heart. 😉
You are so right. And sometimes the more the heartbreaks, the stronger you will become.
It’s true. you can be a little bit heart broken but then you’re only going to be a little bit invited to my dinner parties. 😉
Lol, I will be completely heartbroken, just invite me 🙂
You have described it to a T! I look back fondly on the burning barn that was the end of my marriage and how I started exercising, stopped eating, lost 20 pounds, and started taking risks that paid off, because, after all, I was already near death so what was a risk or two?
I am wondering if you have met Dotty Headbanger? http://dottyheadbanger.wordpress.com/
Hoorah! Well done for you. Sounds like you had a much healthier exit strategy than my sobbing and vino.
Haven’t met Dotty yet but will swing by once I have a chance. Thanks!
I wonder how much character is built by kicks to the emotional groin. I think you need character to begin with to withstand said kicks. Too many kicks and you are bound to have long term effects including but not limited to a shattered sphincter.
You may well have a point there. I think in lieu of character, you can make it out alive and unshattered if you have some amazing friends on stand by to scoop you up. And vodka. 😉
you are so right. And the more the heartbreaks, the stronger you become.
I agree wholeheartedly; but would recommend drowning sorrow in whiskey, not vodka, as it is more pensive.
While whiskey would make me look incredibly cool, I can’t face the stuff after an unfortunate incident as a teen. My gag reflex will never be the same!
Ha, ok fair. Some light coloured iced tea can be made to look like whiskey so you can fake the funk. Its what they did in Lost In Translation.
Think I’ll stick to vodka. 😉
Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you more poetic.
Or in my case, a wordy cow, apparently. 😉
Um, thanks, I think.
You’re so adorable. I’m in love!
Careful, I’ll break your heart! 😉
You are adorable. I’m in love!
I have to admit that I have never had my heart broken in a romantic way. I was fortunate enough to marry my high school sweetheart and we’re still in it for the long haul. (Crossing my fingers). Even so, my heart has been broken by various people whom I trusted. I have learned from these heartaches (although they may not have been as heart-wrenching as one with an intimate romantic partner).
I’ve often wondered what would have happened if I’d married my high school sweetheart. Probably 20 to life. 😉
Couldn’t agree more! Great post. Even better writing!
Thanks ever so much, terribly kind of you to say.
I enjoyed your writing in this post and I love how you pointed out the “good side” of a heartbreak, but I also think that not everyone needs to have a heart broken (or deserve one for that matter) to appreciate real love or have emotional depth, the same way you don’t need to break an arm, for instance, to appreciate the joys of holding a hand you love.
Thanks for reading. I think there may be people out there who can get by without being hurt but you need to experience both sides of the same coin to truly know it and also, you can’t really appreciate singing power ballads at 3am unless you’ve been dumped and that’s just priceless. 😉
This reminds me of nirvana’s “I miss the comfort of being sad.” I think that’s what you mean about this 3am “joy.”
But I agree with what you said about hurt (sides of the same coin). That’s life.
There are many types of heartbreaks is what I want to say, it’s not necessary to fall in love with someone in a romantic way to be vulnerable to a heartbreak. Do you know what I mean? Hurt is hurt.
It’s true, there are many things that can hurt you but then I’d have been rambling away for years and years! You’d have got bored by the time I’d got to the pain caused by the death of a pet hamster. 😉
Reblogged this on ThenBrown.
Reblogged this on Ma Vie en Mots and commented:
Definitely a must-read! Beautifully written and so true!
Reblogged this on Tuning the Heart and commented:
LOVE THIS. A must-read and beautifully written.
Well said dear!
Thanks ever so.
Loved this. A broken heart is the worst, but beautiful at the same time.
Sounds like a description of my 3am singing. Apart from the beautiful part. 😉
Sometimes by being hurt so deeply you can find what was there all along. My ex dragged me through hell and back for years and the whole time I had a friend who would unobtrusively “be there” for me. It wasn’t until I finally left my ex that I realised how wonderful my friend actually is. Now we’ve been dating nearly a year (22nd May) and I’ve never been happier. There’s also no way I would have appreciated the stability we have before.
I have one question, as I’m sure your current partner does – WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?! 😉
When one was single the other was in a relationship for about six years. Things happen when they’re meant to. 🙂
This is inspiring and positive, I love the spin you have put on this, well done! it’s a lovely read, thoroughly enjoyed it, the ups and downs of love eh? such a wonderful exhilarating roller coaster full of lessons to be learned!
Yep, it certainly it a roller coaster, but the sort that makes you vomit your candyfloss 😉
YUP. Been there. Had my heart crushed into sopping wet bloody tissue by the bastard I’d been married to for twenty years.
BUT. I am far better for it. WAY better. Now, if I ever run into him again, I hope I’ll have the presence of mind to stomp on the accelerator and run him over. Twice.
Don’t be afraid to love again. I did, and I’m far better off, with a kinder, more devoted and faithful husband who makes a ton of money, to keep me in the manner I’ve become accustomed to.
By the way, Pavlov’s dog didn’t want a SPITTOON. He wanted a treat.
Don’t be tempted to run him over, you’ll only be annoyed at the cost and hassle of having the blood stains re-sprayed and the insurance premiums will haunt you forever. Just know that he has to live the rest of his life without the new fabulous you – the ultimate punishment!
Reblogged this on Puro-Ruth and commented:
This is honestly one of the best things I have ever read. Finally, someone who is willing to tell the dirty, brutal truth!
That is such humbling praise, thanks so much! 🙂
I had a friend who told me, “Gosh, I wonder what it feels like to fall in love and get your heart broken?” She is 27 years old. And as much as we all love her and would love that she keep her beautiful, happy innocence, she really needs to have her heart stomped on, crushed to pieces, chopped up like garlic, wrung like a wet rag and thrown across the Pacific ocean… It’s about time. You haven’t lived unless you’ve loved, been broken, and loved again.
You can’t tell her though, she’ll think you’re mean. Allow me to do it instead! Send her my way and also send her the way of a totally awful love rat. Shhh, it’ll be our little secret. 🙂
You’ve given me a whole new outlook on the subject – I truly thank you…
You are more than welcome!
I really enjoyed your post. I myself have loved, lost…. had my broken heart and done the breaking myself. Your point is very true… I feel like you can’t really appreciate want you have unless you’ve 1-lost something equally amazing before, or 2-been stomped on, crushed, and beat into the ground by (#*$#&#(*%(# that wouldn’t know respect if it hit them across the face.
Thanks for the insight! I’ll be back! 🙂
Thanks! I look forward to your return.
Reblogged this on Prinsesang Gusgusin.
Reblogged this on deltaginger and commented:
I found this on “Freshly Pressed”… applies on so many levels…
I just had mine… is sucks, but you brush yourself up and get over it… love and lust ❤
I love the way you say “i just had mine” like it really is a rite of passage we all get thrust through eventually. Keep your chin up! 🙂
Duuuuuuude! YOU are the heart-breaker here, what with your wisdom and all and what-not, you know! The glued-up pieces of my heart agree with you “whole”-heartedly.
CONGRATULATIONS on a job excellently done, as always, and being Freshly Pressed!
p.s: sending some more traffic your way! 😀
Much appreciated, thanks! 🙂
Aww, you’re too kind. Never thought I had wisdom before. Trapped wind, yes, wisdom, no. 😉
Let it rip, friend! 😀
great post! thanks
No no, thank YOU!
Like it!! been there.. and survived. The good thing is I’m actually much happier with my new life. So, nothing to regret then 😉 But yeah, it’s an ultimate way to loose some weight..!! haha…
It really is the best way to lose some weight and find out who your real friends are. Anyone who can put up with 3am sobbing down the phone is a keeper!
Reblogged this on Violet Silhouette of ….
Ive failed miserably in love. Experienced deepest shocks at that time. The world around me stood in silence, where every breath of mine was hissing “Its all over”.I thought of commiting suicide. I thought that it was the END, but realised later that its a NEW BEGINNING. Believe me or not. Ive spend the best days of my life after that great love failure. Ive started blogging, Ive started visting orphanages, Ive started winning awards for my public speaking stunts, Ive got many good friends.I started giving advices to many of my friends. I won awards for “Best Humorous Speaker”. Literally, Enjoyed and still enjoying a roller coaster ride. You are splendid..!!!!!, and these are golden words and a its a promising truth. Love this post. Hats off !!!!
Wow, you really made the most of your kick in the crotch. Bravo!
Ive actually started to write a novel on the same flop story….need your help in correcting/suggesting my writing…:)
I don’t think you need my help, sounds like you have plenty to work with! 🙂
haha…No comments 😛
I only had my heart broken really hard once but I can relate! I am thankful that I have experienced heartache because my life has never been happier. I agree that it forms your character. Definitely. And because of this post, I am inspired to write my successful heartbreak. Good job in translating a bitter truth to an entertaining and humorous one. Congratulations on being freshly pressed!
(By the way, I was already 10 pounds underweight before the fortunate event then I lost another 10 pounds in a matter of weeks! Walking skeleton?!)
Crikey, you must have vanished if you turned sideways!
I’m glad that you’re feeling inspired and more so that you’re feeling happier.
Just the right way to take life. And the underlying humour is attracted me more.
Thought of my favourite quote :
It takes a strong woman, to drop everything, go through her phone, send one final text, delete his number, burn the letters & unwanted memories, and say I WON’T stress, cry, or blame myself anymore, & lets go.
Ah yes, it takes a astrong woman indeed to delete that number. I like to keep them as trophies. 😉
i had to be force fed tomato soup after my biggest heartbreak. best diet ever!
Ah yes, tomato soup. The last refuge of the sick and dying. 😉
Reblogged this on Fakeseo | Black hat SEO.
I have, somehow, survived 2 of these. One just last week. And look-a there. Hip bones just in time for bikini season!
You are so unbelievably point-on it’s terrifying. In the best way imaginable. Many thanks for this gem!
Two? Yep, that’s your character well and truly built!
Happy bikini season. 🙂
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Why? When you get to be beyond caring–freedom occurs and it is the light that always shines.
You have to still care just a bit, otherwise you may be free but you’ll also be free of all your friends!
Freinds? Just kidding; those that know where the soul is are forever friends.
I’ve had a great love followed by a shattered heart and while t took years to heal I know I wouldn’t have been able to have the first if the latter wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. Sadly neither has hapened to me again in the same way, still hope that it will though
Of course it’ll happen again No-one’s lucky enough to avoid it all totally. 😉
You really do need to risk the one to get the other. Two sides of a coin and all that.
This is seriously the best thing I’ve read all day, and seeing as I have the day off that is saying quite a lot. I totally agree with this and thank you for imparting your sage wisdom. If I may share my 2 cents – I believe you can’t be truly successful at anything until you have failed at it. The bigger you fail the more you learn and the better things will be when you get it right. That goes not only for relationships, but for careers, starting a business, writing a book or doing anything at all worth doing other than raising children. In that one case – don’t fuck it up the rest of us have to pay the price. 🙂
And this is one of the best comments I’ve read all day and I’ve been reading a lot of comments. 😉 The trouble with not screwing up the kids bit is that, surely, that’s te whole point of having them? Just ask Philip Larkin! 😉
Yup. So been there. So done that. Have got my heart ripped out of my chest and smashed on the wall. Have got my heart sliced, diced and smoothied. Have felt needles floating in my blood, hurting every crevice of my heart. Have got my heart crushed so badly that sometimes i dont even bother looking for the pieces. Have felt so empty and silent and wondered all the time if feeling this immense pain was even possible. Been to hell, stayed there, made friends, stayed there a bit longer. But got back. And havent looked back since. You are right. The heart no matter how badly dislocated, it finds its way to be strong. I agree, everyone should get thier heart razed over. It gives you strength and power to rise like no other.
I loved this post. It said everything one goes through 🙂
Well, you’ve clearly been there and got a marvellous vocabulary of pain to show for it. You’d definitely be invited to dinner!
Hey there, I am going to reblog this..if that’s alright with you?
Reblogged this on Ramblings of a Misguided Blonde and commented:
Posts like the one above is precisely why I love Freshly Pressed!
Agreed wholeheartedly. Funny enough. Until your heart breaks, it can never be as full or whole. Rite of passage indeed.
Will reblog this.
Thank you very muchly! 🙂
“If I were to have a perfect dinner party (that would involve cooking so this really is a big “if”), you can be damned sure that if you haven’t brought a bottle of wine and a sense of humour based on a badly bandaged ego, you’re not coming in.”
Sounds like a party to me.
I do have to disagree on one point: Bridget Jones. I can’t help it, I sometimes have really bad taste in movies. This is also why I am the only one I know who liked Bad Teacher and Young Adult. Bad taste, bad judgement, broken hearts—sometimes it all goes together.
Nothing wrong with enjoying a trashy film, just don’t base life decisions on something that is a thinly veiled rip-off of Jane Austin.
Now, I must toddle off and get some crisps, err, I mean cook dinner. 😉
Loved each and every bit of your post… I mean how true that can be!!! Have been telling these same things to myself for a loong time (6yrs… curse me) and was still not affirmative of it. But after reading your post, i guess i agree that something good does happen after every gut wrenching, soul shattering, life shaking heartbreak. The dust has settled and i am still breathing… though not very prepared to enter the battle arena once again. But i can definetly agree that you emerge as a better and strong person with a changed perspective towards life!!! Thanks for this fantastic post! LOVEEEED it!
You may not be prepared to enter the battle arena just yet but you wait, when you least expect it, you’ll be knee deep in gladiators! Or something… 😉
Thanks for reading.
A broken heart forces you to believe that spending your free time with yourself and alone is definitely better than wasting it on another one who might break your pump again.
Spending time alone is great but I think that having your heart ripped up into tiny pieces really shows you how valuable your friends are. Also, you can’t avoid meeting someone new to give your heart too because as much as tat means you’re avoiding getting hurt, it also means you’re avoiding all the happiness and love.
Reblogged this on TaniStates and commented:
This blogpost by Pretty Feet, Pop Toe just deserves to be shared. A refreshing point of view on (love) life.
Just the fact that the red light on my Blackberry has been blinking continously due to email notifications after my comment say´s it all. Enjoy!
So, you thrive upon a broken heart.
What a shame.
Whole hearts are so much more loving. IMHO.
I wouldn’t say I thrive upon it, more that I can see the silver lining to an otherwise grim cloud.
I agree some of the worst moments of my life have been the ones I’ve learned the most from
If you can’t learn and laugh after things like this, you’re missing a trick.
Having your heart broken means you were brave enough to open it up to someone. I envy you.
Arguably brave or foolish. I’d say foolish the first time round and brave ever after. It has to be worth it though, just for the witty anecdotes. 😉
Well, I can tell just from reading this that I have not been in that kind of situation. I knew that anyway, but… even more so, now. I never have been one to open up, especially I have not been one to put myself in a relationship like that. And I’ve never gotten the appeal of recklessness.
But this blog post made me think. Honestly, I don’t think anyone can deny that a broken heart grows character. The question is — is it always for the better? For some people, it may just make them bitter. And for those that do grow in that way… that journey probably doesn’t end.
For those who become the angry ones, the closed-minded, the vengeful… Is any of that really good, in the end?
I can see what you mean, and I agree. But not wholly.
It definitely grows character, that’s for sure but I guess you’re right. You have to not be a bitter little gremlin before it happens or you’ll just grown even more gremlintastic.
This account was, for me, just based on my own experience and I like to think I’ve avoided becoming too bitter but it’s far from being a difinitive argument.
Thanks for reading. 🙂
You know what, i was planning to write on same, from a quite long time and now i have read yours. It is apparent that mine would have been not so good like yours. You have jotted down points so beautifully. I really appreciate it.
There are quite people who have gone through same stage but instead of being a compassionate they become rather more violent towards another sex. And i think, it is insult for love you gave to another person. Love teaches you to be humble, passionate, honest and same time sacrificial but not cruel. You should be thankful to god as well as person whom you love, who gave you such remarkable moments, you can cherish with your whole life.
That’s very kind of you to say but go ahead and write it anyway but purely because you enjoy it and it needs to be said.
You’re right, I think you shouldn’t be angry at the person who wronged you but instead look at the good things you gained from that encounter. It’s a tricky act to pull though.
Hey, as a fairly new WordPresser, I wanted to congratulate you on a great post. You have an interesting and unique blog.
I also wanted to ask you how you were able to edit the part of your headline that says “It’s just my point of view. Love it or Hate it.”
Thanks in advance! And if you’ve got a minute, you can check out my blog at beabovethefold.wordpress.com.
Welcome to WordPress and welcome to my blog! To update your tagline, look under under General Settings on your dashboard.
I see. I figured it out, thank you. And might I add that this post was brilliant. I received my ration of broken heart literally a day after reading it…inspired.
Also, I added a link to your blog in the Further Reading section on mine. I enjoy your witterings! I look forward to reading more of you.
Thank you so much! And while I’m sorry to hear that you had your heart broken, at least you know it will have a happy ending! 🙂
Been there, done that. My heart can’t be shattered much more than it already is. It’s in a billion pieces now and I’d hate to have to pick them all up again. Hopefully one day soon a nice woman will come into my life and help glue the pieces back together one at a time.
Don’t worry, you’ll find that with time (and some great friends) all the pieces will be back together and you’ll be a far stronger person and will be in a much better position to find the love of your life. EIther that or you can blog about it and get Freshly Pressed. 😉
Really amazing! You expressed the most bitter truth in the most funniest way.!!
Oops!! I meant ‘funny way’..
Thank you so much, glad I could entertain. Almost makes the heartbreak worth it. 😉
Sad but true, I think it’s a part of life! Thank you for sharing,
It is indeed part of life. Well, it’s part off mine, anyway! 😉
Great point of view. Two thumbs for you 🙂
Great point of view. Hit that part of me that I’ve been trying to ignore all this time. Keep writing.
I hope I didn’t hit you too hard, I’ve been told i can play rough. 😉
I so vividly remember the first time my heart was seriously demolishe. I was 21 and fell for an 18 year old. She was about to start her first year of college and be away from home for this first time in her life (I know, what the hell was I thinking right). After a year and some change she just straight up hit me with the “I don’t wanna do this anymore”. I can honestly say that because of that break up I definitely appreciate my current girlfriend of four years that much more. BUT, I still hope that someone punches her in the face. That’s reasonable right?
It’s only normal wish a dose of pain upon the person who hurt you. My personal favourite wish is that they get cursed with a plague of anal warts and herpes. I think that’s fair. 😉
Truly said… agree with your views
s s s
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. Last year I went through an extremely painful break up. A break up that up until a month ago I was still wallowing in. The kind of heartache that sticks to your shoe like old bubble gum. The kind of heartache that causes you to become an agoraphobic, anxiety ridden, nut case. I lost jobs, friends and myself all during the process. But I finally came out the other side(he got a new girlfriend and I had to make a choice). I built the perfect storm of dumping, graduating college, and taking awful jobs, but now that I’m on the other side I can officially say I am grateful for it. I am so much more than I was when I was with him. I know what it is to be completely lost inside of yourself. I understand others and myself so much more. Thank you for putting this all into words. Now I have something I can say “Look! I’m not the only one who thinks that this crappy situation of heartache can make you into a better person!” I am glad I went through it. I’m glad I’m invited to your perfect dinner party. I’m glad I can understand people so much better than I did before. I’m glad I didn’t let him win.
Hooray for you!
Seems like I might need to invest in a bigger dining table. 😉
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It is the best time actually…you feel hurt, but liberated in a way…You somehow enjoy the attention you get from other guys, now that you are single.Just a way of consoling ourselves really, but it feels nice to know that there are many other fishes in the pond…
i have reblogged you!
Ah, so kind! Glad you enjoyed it and I’m (sort of) glad you enjoyed being liberated by a broken heart.
Is that a new brand of vodka? 😉
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Reblogged this on Symphonyofthesoul's Blog and commented:
This post made so much of sense, and more than anything else I was really relieved thinking that, ‘finally there is someone who gets the point of it all and doesn’t want to laugh and diss at my despair!! 🙂
Reblogged this on The Feisty Pad and commented:
I had to share this piece! Enjoy!
Would love to have a few bottles of wine with you!!! THANK YOU. I feel a lot better now that I know I’m just like those poor Pavlov’s dogs 😉
Welcome to the Pavlov club. 🙂
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I’ve been reading this article for the past 3 months, every time I need to feel less lonely in my loneliness, to take a good objective look at my situation, and to have a good laugh. It works every time. Thank you for this brilliant piece of writing!
I very much enjoy your broad vocabulary, Martha, and absolutely agree with the sentiment. Lovely piece.
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