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A Meaty Debate – Why All Animals Should Be Fair Game

A delicious Shetland pony

“I’ll take mine to go.”

Recently, breaking news revealed that horse meat has been found in the budget beef burgers of some major stores in the UK and Ireland. This resulted in the standard reaction of heavily recycled jokes, disgust and good old fashioned middle class outrage across social media and pubs alike. Once all the smug moral dust had settled, a few lone voices could be heard admitting that actually, they would eat horse meat and that the only misdemeanour that had occurred, as far as they could see, was the fact these retailers hadn’t labelled the goods properly. This raises the question, which animals is it ok to eat?

Food is a very personal matter. As well as keeping us alive, it acts as a social bonding tool, a harmless missile to be thrown across school canteens in rock videos and it divides opinion massively, so it’s no surprise that much emotion surrounds it, especially when it comes to the animal flavour of food.

There are countless pages devoted to veganism, vegetarianism, pesceterianism and even more to the love of bacon (which is the one food known to topple some of the most staunch vegetarians and bring them humbly back to the land of the omnivore). What is “right” to eat essentially boils down to nutrition and I’m not going to lecture you on that – I shall leave that to the doctors, the scientists and the scaremongers at The Daily Mail, but what I do struggle with is the often childish attitude people have towards meat eating.

Veggies and yoghurt weavers, look away now. I eat meat and I am happy to do so. Food with a face tastes delicious and thanks to my upbringing, I have what I consider to be a well informed and mature attitude to scoffing the juicy plump beasts of this earth. I’m not saying everyone should eat meat and I’m not saying you shouldn’t nibble on the creatures that roam the planet, but I am saying that those who choose to eat meat should grow up when it comes to the types of meat they choose to eat.

Some people are happy to eat chicken that has been kept in diabolical conditions and pumped full of chemicals but they balk at the idea of eating a perfectly healthy free range bit of venison, because they cried when they watched Bambi. Just because your food was cute and had long eyelashes shouldn’t make any difference to whether you eat it. Can you honestly give me a solid reason why one animal deserves to be made into a sumptuous steaming hot pie any more than another? Save for the whole endangered species list, I’d go so far as to ask why any creature shouldn’t be on the menu?

People are happy to sit gripped with mock-horror in front of their televisions as once famous celebrities chomp on a kangaroo testicle or slurp down fish eyeballs, but they are horrified when faced with something like organic squirrel pie, or even just meat served on the bone (apparently it looks too “animal-y”. I can’t even begin to tell you how much strength I require to refrain from smashing someone’s chicken nuggets up their nose when I hear this. I deserve some sort of humanitarian award! By the way, a humanitarian isn’t someone who only eats humans, I double checked). These people are the same ones who, ironically, eat pretty much the same as these Z-list jungle-hopping celebrities when they gaily throw burgers, sausages and other processed “meat” products into their pie-holes, not realising that they are in fact gorging on the finest lips, tits and arseholes that ever were swept from the factory floor.

I am happy to scoff, when highly inebriated, a cheap dirty doner kebab, possibly made of cat or bat or rat (depending on what’s in season behind the bins that week) so I’m not perfect, but given the sober choice, I’d rather eat quality whole chunks of healthy beast flesh, and this comes from a very hands-on education. I grew up asking “who” was for dinner, not “what” and this was because all the meat that came to my dinner plate had been lovingly hand-reared by my family. It had been named, it had romped in a field of green and it had been cuddled and cherished into a state of tender deliciousness before making its timely way to the family freezer via the butcher’s block.

I didn’t see this as strange at the time and, while I understand it shocks many to think of eating something that had been named, I don’t see it as strange now. I knew exactly where my pork chop had come from, just what wholesome food it had eaten, how few drugs it was pumped with and I had seen it have a better life than most inner-city children, frolicking freely in fresh air and farmlands before, like the inner-city kids, staring down the business end of a gun. I understood the whole process, including the messy end bit that doesn’t involve the animal peacefully falling asleep (trust me, there is no nice way of making a thing dead) and I understood that the darling fuzzy creature was being home grown solely for the purpose of the Sunday roast, and I thoroughly enjoyed my guilt free home cooked dinner, thank you (and Petunia the pig) very much.

Someone once asked my mother, horrified, how she could eat her “pet” chickens. Mother’s reply, quite brilliantly, was to ask whose chickens this person would eat! This protector-of-hens was all too happy to chow down on a processed abscess burger from a fried chicken restaurant but not on organic, free range happy hens. She, like all criminals, found the crime easier to commit against a faceless victim, and this, I feel is the major problem with the attitude towards meat eating. People are happy to chomp away on meat from critters raised in the most barbaric and depraved manner (again, not unlike those inner-city kids) so long as they don’t have to know anything of the back story, or see a fwuffy ickle wickle face on it. Grow up. If you can’t handle the face, you don’t deserve the delicious, juicy leg, rump or ribs.

This brings us back to the horse meat. Just because when you were a little girl, you used to dream of pony rides and unicorns, doesn’t mean that they aren’t just as deserving of your culinary enjoyment as the bountiful cow or the cloud-like lamb. Our perception is all that prevents us from enjoying the varied diet of the Tudors or Romans, who thought nothing of peacocks, larks, dormice or wenches gracing the platters of the finest dining halls (I may have made that up about the wenches but the rest is true).

It is only that we have focused on the cheaper animals to produce en masse that we regard anything but beef, lamb, pork or chicken (turkeys only exist in December) as inedible. We’ve managed to anthropomorphise any “cute” looking creature into being untouchable and anything that’s a bit ugly, such as the eel (a delicious fish, by the way), is now regarded as practically poisonous! Get over it. If it tastes good and doesn’t have a jockey on it, I’d happily eat a horse steak, and I was that little girl who dreamt of unicorns and who owned a pony.

I’m sure there are going to be a lot of horrified faces out there (if you’ve got this far) and that’s ok. I’m not suggesting that we all start eating our cats, dogs and bunnies but I am suggesting we all grow up and stop being so squeamish, and that if we’re going to eat meat, we discriminate less between species and realise that surely it’s far better to eat a well cared for hamster than it is a factory farmed chicken.

As for the stores that put horse meat in their budget beef burgers, I’m actually more shocked they found meat in the burgers at all.

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About prettyfeetpoptoe

I live in London and have both my own legs so I am fortunate enough to get out and about on occasion. I form many views on the things that I see and do and love nothing better than a session of linguistic gymnastics in order to share these views.

44 responses »

  1. This is making me quite hungry. I ate horse steak in Luxembourg, quite tough, would probably be better served slow cooked in a stew. Kangaroo was delicious too, and dirt cheap in Australia, my friend said people rarely eat it since they are regarded as vermin, they are missing out on a treat.

    You have a point over the products they found it in, I would have figured horse meat should be the least of their concerns.

    Reply
  2. The last line in your piece says it all! Well done.

    Reply
  3. This is great. And I couldn’t agree more. I tried. Food is food. It doesn’t matter whether it was pumped full of steroids or hunted down in the woods. We are omnivores and we eat what we eat.

    Reply
  4. I’ve seen some otherwise respectable people ordering venison after watching Bambi!…

    Reply
    • With confit rabbit legs on the side?

      I’d probably eat mermaid after watching The Little Mermaid if my local fishmonger stocked it. Actually, would it be the butcher or fishmonger? That’s thought for the day sorted.

      Reply
  5. Quote: “Some people are happy to eat chicken that has been kept in diabolical conditions and pumped full of chemicals but they balk at the idea of eating a perfectly healthy free range bit of venison, because they cried when they watched Bambi.”

    Preach, preacher, preach!

    Reply
  6. Ahhh, I remember my first Easter dinner with my soon to be wife who was destined to be my ex-wife. I sat down at her family’s Easter Sunday table, all young and naive, and was served a delicious portion of juicy meat. When I asked what lovely creature this was I was happily told, “Rabbit.” Yes, the Easter Bunny was supper. And yes, he/she was delicious.

    Reply
  7. I eat all sorts of food, well, except insects.

    Reply
  8. eremophila

    Bless you for your eloquence!

    Reply
  9. eremophila

    Reblogged this on Eremophila's Musings and commented:
    A controversial subject but she raises a matter close to my heart.

    Reply
  10. robbie retard

    meat is murder

    Reply
  11. charmedbylove

    do insects count?

    Reply
  12. Pavlov's Cat

    The topic of what food we can, may could, or should eat is a subject that one should not stay soylent on. That which we call a Rose is vegetable, but it is not something I would serve beside a slice of roast beef.. That which we call meat, may taste wonderful, or it may taste simply offal.

    Which brings us back to the question of ‘what is meat?’
    Processed meat can be just about anything, from any part of a cow (including digestive tract), to whatever is in pink slime. A steak, or a chicken breast that has been injected with water to give it more volume, or bits of meat glued together to give a façade of a singular whole… But the actual meat of another animal… actual meat that that is actually called meat?

    Perhaps there can be a new ‘genre’ of meat… Introducing the Amalgamous Steak (for animals), or the Amalgamous fillet (for fish or poultry). There are no entrails of an animal (or fish or poultry), but the meat does not have to be from one kind of animal (or fish or poultry).

    The combinations are only limited by your imagination, taste, marketing, or the strength of your stomach.
    Roo-Moo Mince
    The Sam Kekovich Pie (Roo and Lamb)
    The Melbourne Cup Pie (Venison and Roo) how Australian…
    The Bugs Bunny bucket (Rabbit and Pork, or Duck)

    just imagine it….. stay down stomach…

    Reply
    • Technically, “meat” has to have a proportionate number of animal items, so two eyes, one bum hole, four hooves per cow etc, while “meat product” can be any number of anything. 100% meat just means you’re getting some flesh mixed in with your beak and toenail. Yum.

      I love your hybrid idea! It’s like Old Macdonald turned his whole farm into a roasting joint.

      You could also opt for Truly Streaky Bacon – pig and zebra.

      Reply
  13. It’s odd. I’m a “mostly vegan,” yet I found your argument spot on. My choice of diet has more to do with health than ethics (having grown up on a farm, too). But if the population keeps growing as it is, and we keep demanding meat, dogs, cats and hamsters will be next.

    Reply
  14. Pavlov's Cat

    An alternative might be the Mosaic purity laws, as found in the book of Leviticus….

    The Octopus has neither fins nor scales
    Cooked octopus is called Calamari
    Eating Calamari is an abomination,
    Is uncooked Octopus sushi?

    We’re doomed!!!

    Reply
  15. Ate horse in Italy – didn’t like it. But you are right – the Chinese eat virtually anything because their history is one of famine and no need to be fussy about where they got their calories from. This will change over time as they become richer, but explains our pre-occuppation with cuddly liddle biddy widdy animals.

    Reply
  16. Eating meat will, likely, always be a knob of contention amongst people. Since becoming diabetic, I eat more meat. I know the stories of how that will affect my health, too, however, i must say that eating meat beats not getting to eat much at all. I am not a steak person; I am a turkey, chicken, fish guy, and I do love hamburger. As far as naming the little boogers, I would not want to eat my kitty, but that’s due to the affection I have for her. I don’t know what cat meat tastes like, but I do know that, in parts of Asia, rat meat is a delicacy and it is field rats not sewer rats, so there, those should be clean rats, what’s wrong with that?
    Scott

    Reply
  17. I couldn’t agree more, thank you! I take hell from a lot of my friends for eating lamb (lamb of all things really?) because it’s a “cute baby animal” (to which I reply, have you ever smelled one? they aren’t that cute up close) but these same people will eat turkey because they are ugly. I see what is going on here, animal racism and genocide, hmmm? But seriously, I like to eat all of the animals. I think it all comes down to cultural relevance, we don’t tend to eat horses, kitty cats, and dogs because it’s not a general practice in western culture. If it was I probably would eat them. Another friend asked if I would eat an adorable kitten, and I said yes – if it was in my culture I would eat one. She was not impressed, but hey I also like vegetables for the record!

    Reply
    • You get stick for eating lamb? Those people wouldn’t last a day in Wales or New Zealand, where practically everything is made out of lamb by default.

      Deep fried kitten, coming soon to a McDonalds near you!

      Reply
  18. In the U.S. horse dealers are allowed to acquire a horse, fabricate the drug history and ship it to slaughter the same day. The U.S. is not approved to ship horsemeat to the UK. U.S. entirely unregulated horses are shipped to Canada and Mexico for slaughter and deemed Canadian and Mexican because they are slaughtered there. The UK imports horsemeat from Canada and Mexico. 70% of Canadian horsemeat is from U.S. unregulated horses that are largely adulterated with both legal and illegal drugs. For many horse owners, me included, we find it as repulsive or the same as some relishing eating our own ‘children’. While some don’t have an issue exploiting children or animals, please have a little respect. Be aware that there can never be two classifications of one species – food and non-food – that do not cross over by the greed of man. Many drugs, legal and illegal are used on horses that are not permitted in food animals that allow owners to perform with their horses. Perhaps it is the viagra that some like…
    Frog Juice
    http://newsok.com/oklahoma-horses-doped-with-frog-juice-jumped-to-winners-circle/article/3766705

    ractopimine
    http://www.standardbredcanada.ca/notices/2-18-14/cpma-drug-appearing-feed.html

    viagra
    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/superracing/trainer-hit-with-16year-ban-after-four-horses-test-positive-to-viagra/story-fnibcaa0-1226824724879

    Reply

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